How to create a self-care routine that actually works

Self-care is often misunderstood as an occasional indulgence- something we squeeze in when we have extra time. But in reality, self-care is an essential practice that helps us stay balanced, energized, and resilient in our daily lives.

I used to think self-care was all about bubble baths and spa days, but I've learned that true self-care is about consistently showing up for yourself in ways that nourish your mind, body, and soul. Over the years, I've built a self-care routine that includes journaling, gratitude, movement, and meditation. These practices have helped me manage stress, improve my mindset, and stay grounded, no matter what life throws my way. 

If you've struggled to stick with self-care, you're not alone. The key is to make it simple, flexible, and personal to you. Here's how you can create a self-care routine that actually works. 

1. Define what self-care means to you

Self-care looks different for everyone. Some people recharge by being alone, while others feel restored by spending time with loved ones. For me, self-care means finding balance- taking time for myself while also nurturing my relationships, creativity, and overall well-being. 

Ask yourself:

• What activities make me feel refreshed and recharged? 
• What areas of my life need more attention- mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual? 
• What drains my energy, and how can I balance it with activities that restore me? 

When I first started prioritizing self-care, I made a list of things that genuinely made me feel better. I realized that journaling, practicing gratitude, moving my body, and meditating were the practices that had the biggest impact on my well-being. 

By understanding your unique needs, you can tailor your self-care routine in a way that feels natural and effective.  

2. Start small and keep it simple

One of the biggest mistakes I made when trying to build a self-care routine was overcomplicating it. I thought I had to do everything- morning workouts, elaborate meditation sessions, meal prepping, reading, journaling- all before 8 a.m.! Not surprisingly, I burned out quickly. 

The key is to start small and focus on consistency over perfection.  

How to do this: 

• Choose one or two self-care activities to start with. 
• Keep it simple- something you can realistically do every day (or at least regularly).
• Gradually add more practices as they become habits. 

For example, when I started journaling, I didn't force myself to write full pages every day. I simply wrote one sentence about how I was feeling- and that small step eventually turned into a daily habit. 

3. Make self-care a non-negotiable

There were times in my life when I treated self-care as an afterthought- something I'd do if I had time. But I realized that if I didn't prioritize myself, stress and exhaustion would take over. 

Now, I treat self-care like an important appointment that I can't cancel. Every morning, I start my day with a few minutes of journaling and gratitude because I know it sets the tone for a positive, productive day. 

How to do this: 

• Schedule self-care into your day like a work meeting or an event. 
• Set reminders on your phone or use a planner to stay consistent. 
• Communicate your boundaries- let others know when you need uninterrupted self-care time. 

When you make self-care non-negotiable, it becomes a part of your lifestyle rather than something you have to "make time for."

4. Balance different types of self-care

A well-rounded self-care routine includes a mix of physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual care. Here's what that looks for me: 

Physical self-care: 

• I go for a daily walks or do a short workout- nothing extreme, just enough to move my body and release stress. 
• I stay hydrated and try to nourish my body with healthy foods. 
• I prioritize getting enough sleep because I've learned that exhaustion makes everything harder. 

Mental & emotional self-care: 

• I journal every morning- it helps me clear my mind and process my emotions. 
• I practice gratitude by writing down three things I'm thankful for. 
• I set boundaries and say no to things that drain my energy. 

Spiritual self-care: 

• I meditate for 5-10 minutes in the morning to start my day with clarity and calm. 
• I spend time in nature whenever possible- it's one of the best ways for me to recharge. 
• I focus on mindfulness, staying present rather than worrying about the past or future. 

By balancing different types of self-care, I make sure that all aspects of my well-being are supported. 

5. Listen to your body and mind

Your self-care needs may change from day to day, and that's okay. Some mornings, I wake up feeling energized and ready to go for a long walk. Other days, I need extra rest and quiet time. 

The key is to be flexible- self-care isn't about rigid rules. 

How to do this: 

• Pay attention to what your body and mind need each day. 
• Adjust your routine as needed- self care should feel supportive, not stressful.
• Give yourself permission to rest without guilt when you need it. 

If I miss a workout or skip a journaling session, I remind myself that self-care is not about perfection- it's about consistently showing up for myself in a way that feels good. 

6. Remove guilt from self-care

For a long time, I felt guilty taking time for myself. I thought self-care was selfish or that I had to "earn" rest. But I've learned that taking care of myself isn't just good for me- it helps me show up as a better version of myself for others. 

How to let go of guilt: 

• Remind yourself that self-care isn't a luxury- it's a necessity. 
• Recognize that taking care of your well-being benefits both you and those around you. 
• Affirm: "I deserve to take care of myself without guilt."

The better I take care of myself, the more patient, present, and engaged I can be in my relationships and daily life.  

7. Be consistent, but not rigid

A self-care routine is most effective when practiced consistently. However, consistency doesn't mean perfection- life happens, and sometimes plans change. The goal is to make self-care a habit, not a strict set of rules. 

How to stay consistent: 

• Set realistic expectations- you don't have to do everything every day. 
• If you miss a day, don't get discouraged- just start again. 
• Keep your routine flexible so it can evolve with your needs. 

Self-care should feel like something you want to do, not something you have to do. The more enjoyable and natural it feels, the easier it will be to maintain. 

Sample self-care routine (morning & night) 

Not sure where to start? Here's an example of a simple yet effective self-care routine. 

Morning routine: 

🌞5 minutes of stretching to wake up your body

🌞Drink a glass of water before reaching for coffee

🌞Write down 3 things you're grateful for to start the day with positivity

🌞Take a few deep breaths or meditate for mental clarity

🌞Set an intention for the day to stay focused

Evening routine:

🌙Unplug from screens at least 30 minutes before bed

🌙Write a journal or reflect on you day

🌙Read a book or do a calming activity

🌙Practice a short breathing exercise to relax your mind

🌙Get enough sleep to restore your body

This is just a guide- feel free to customize it to fit your lifestyle and preferences! 

Final thoughts

Creating a self-care routine that actually works isn't about following a rigid formula- it's about finding what nourishes you and making it a consistent part of your life. Whether it's five minutes of deep breathing, a daily walk, or setting healthy boundaries, self-care is most effective when it aligns with your needs and feels sustainable. 

Remember: Taking care of yourself isn't selfish- it's necessary. The better you care for yourself, the more energy, peace, and resilience you'll have to navigate life's challenges. The most important thing is to choose self-care practices that feel natural and sustainable for you! 

Now, I'd love to hear from you! What's one self-care habit that has made a difference in your life? Share it in the comments- I'd love to learn from your experiences!